Monday, September 24, 2007

Poetic Justice

So, speaking purely hypothetically, if a student on your campus were to have phoned in a bomb threat which turned out to be fake, and if you had the authority to offer the most fitting punishment (besides prosaic things like probable expulsion and felony), what would it be? I've been thinking putting him in charge of the campus committee devoted to evaluating emergency preparedness is too minor league. How about head of homeland security? We want something really really bad here, something that would deter aspiring Mad Bombers What Bomb at Midnight from calling in any fake bomb threats ever again.


raincoaster said...

Easy: just make him wear a big sign that reads "I'm Fake Bomb Threat Guy" and make him put it on his Facebook and MySpace too.

Ahistoricality said...

Make him respond to bomb threats. He can go into the buildings, check under the desks, crawl in the crawl spaces.

Until he's found a real one, he's the first guy into every "hot" zone.

spyder said...

Put him on a chair over a bomb, perhaps something like this; and then have him//her (we must have gender parity when discussing explosive hoaxes) realize that the decision to set it off rests with a group of peers (using that old electric shock experiment format).