Girrlz!

Here's about big long grow-ups post about the antecedents of Sparkychan, Gojochan, Jumpsan, Kongsan, Haatochan, and the Powerpuff Girls, Grrrrr!

And this is the girl who started it all. Her name is Flossie Mackenzie, she's 10 years old, and she lives in Africa, the imagined Africa of Rider Haggard's Allan Quatermain. We're in chapter 4 where Quatermain has asked her whether or not she feels lonely living "among all these savage people and without any companions of her own age":

'Lonely?' she said. 'Oh, indeed no! I am as happy as the day is long, and besides I have my own companions. Why, I should hate to be buried in a crowd of white girls all just like myself so that nobody could tell the difference! Here,' she said, giving her head a little toss, 'I am I; and every native for miles around knows the "Water-lily", -- for that is what they call me -- and is ready to do what I want, but in the books that I have read about little girls in England it is not like that. Everybody thinks them a trouble, and they have to do what their schoolmistress likes. Oh! it would break my heart to be put in a cage like that and not to be free -- free as the air.'

'Would you not like to learn?' I asked.

'So I do learn. Father teaches me Latin and French and arithmetic.'

'And are you never afraid among all these wild men?'

'Afraid? Oh no! they never interfere with me. I think they believe that I am "Ngai" (of the Divinity) because I am so white and have fair hair. And look here,' and diving her little hand into the bodice of her dress she produced a double-barrelled nickel-plated Derringer, 'I always carry that loaded, and if anybody tried to touch me I should shoot him. Once I shot a leopard that jumped upon my donkey as I was riding along. It frightened me very much, but I shot it in the ear and it fell dead, and I have its skin upon my bed. Look there!' she went on in an altered voice, touching me on the arm and pointing to some far-away object, 'I said just now that I had companions; there is one of them.'

She was pointing to Mt. Kenya.

Doggie Goes to the Moon

Thanks to teh wondars of the intertubes, we got to read another story from Grandpa Bob before the girls went to bed.

***

Doggie Goes to the Moon

By

Grandpa Bob

One day, doggie decided to go for a walk. He was looking for fun. Soon he came to some stores. One had a TV in the window. The TV showed a space ship landing on the moon. A man in a space suit got out. He had a golf club and ball. He hit a golf shot on the moon!

Doggie said, "That looks like fun! I want to play golf on the moon, too."

Doggie ran as fast as he could to the Spaceport. The Spaceport was where rocket ships left earth to go to the moon. But the man at the Spaceport wouldn't let Doggie in. "Dogs can't fit in the seats and we have no dog food for you to eat on the rocket ship," he said.

Doggie was sad. He really wanted to play golf on the moon. He slowly walked home and didn't even wag his tail.

On the way home, he passed onechan's and imoto's house. They saw him and asked him to come in for ice cream. They asked Doggie why he was so sad and he told them. But onechan and imoto knew how to make him happy again!

Onechan had a picture of the moon. Imoto had a toy rocket ship. They pretended Doggie was a passenger on the rocket ship. They gave him ice cream to eat while he "pretend flew" to the moon. Then they put him on the picture of the moon. They put a golf club in his mouth and put a ball on the picture. Doggie hit the ball. It rolled far!

Now Doggie was happy! He had played golf on the moon--thanks to onechan and imoto!

THE END

***

Onechan told me what happened after the ending!

Onechan: Imoto used magic and Doggie went into the picture of the moon.

Me: What happened next?

Onechan: That's it! Now can we do that Sparkychan falling all the way to us one?

What can I say? It was right before bed time, after all!

Haato-chan's Concert

Haato-chan's Concert
Originally uploaded by the_constructivist18

Here's another Haato-chan story from onechan.

***

Onechan: Ummm, Haato-chan is playing the violin and then she wanted ice cream. And then she said, "I want to eat dinner." And then I said, "Not yet, Haato-chan." And then she said, "I want you to read a book." And then she said, " Why did you love me?" And then she said, "Why are we here?" And then I said, "That's why, to keep us safe."

Me: Is the story over?

Onechan: Yup.

***

Now it's imoto's turn to type:

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,bnbbbbb由良らせせせせせせせせせせせせせせせせせの野の野の野の野の野の野の野の乗る気めけ毛毛家くけ毛家なくここここここここ個々氏とちママ区規定スイス巣喚起かすはひかすすいてなんのすいかくきはしとししまみみそささききはしは

***

Now it's onechan's turn to type:

くのに桃身ひねね桃みみみみひよこまりまみき

どれみ
ももこ

Hello America

Hello America
Originally uploaded by the_constructivist18

Onechan wants to tell the story of how Haato-chan came to live with us.

***

Onechan: She was a very little bear. Sparky-chan picked her up in the store.

Me: What happened next?

Onechan: Haato-chan went to school, and was in a play, and that's how she got sick. No, no, no, not sick. She wanted ice cream. Why does that say, "No, no, no"? I didn't say that.

Me: Yes, you did.

Onechan: And that's how she fell asleep.

Imoto: Dat's how she falled sleep.

Onechan: And that's why she likes onechan.

***

We'll have more Haato-chan stories for Uncle Bill soon! Onechan can't wait to tell the story of how she got sick.

Sparkychan in GrandpaLand: Doggie Finds a Toy

Sparkychan was alone in Grandma and Grandpa's house, and she was scared. It had been hours since onechan and imoto had left with their parents and Gojochan to go back to Dunkirk, and she still didn't know why they had left her behind. She was busy hiding under their dada's old bed when, all of a sudden, she heard the phone ring. Maybe it was onechan and imoto! But Sparkychan was disappointed to hear Grandpa say, "Well, hello, Alyak!" She wanted to hear from her girls, not their cousins. But then she heard Grandpa say, "Sure, I'll tell you another Doggie story!" Sparkychan loved stories. So she tiptoed carefully to the door of dada's old room, the better to hear the story that Grandpa told Alyak.

***

Doggie Finds a Toy
By
Grandpa Bob

One day, Doggie went for a walk. He was looking for some fun. But, at first, he did not find fun.

When he turned a corner, he didn’t see a big puddle and fell in. He got all wet! Then he shook himself to get dry and splashed a squirrel! The squirrel got mad and threw a nut at him. Doggie ran away!

Then Doggie saw a cookie. He wanted to eat it. But it belonged to a little boy. The little boy wouldn’t give Doggie any of the cookie. Doggie ran away again!

Then Doggie saw another dog. He asked the other dog to play. But it wasn’t a friendly dog. It told Doggie to go away. Doggie ran away. He was sad. He had no one to play with.

But then he saw a toy lying in the street. It was a pretty doll in a red dress. Doggie loved it. He pretended it was a puppy and he was the daddy. He had fun playing with the toy doll.

Then he thought that maybe the toy was lost. Maybe it belonged to someone else. He decided to find the real owner.

But how would Doggie find the real owner? He thought Aki might know. So he went to Aki's house! Guess what! The toy was Aki's. Aki said, ”That is Sparky! I dropped her when I went for a walk.”

Aki and Aya were glad to see Sparky. They thanked Doggie. Mommy and Daddy gave Doggie, Aki, and Aya cookies. Doggie was very happy. He had had fun after all! He even slept over at Aki's house!

***

Even before Grandpa got off the phone with Alyak, Sparkychan felt much better. If Sparky could be found, so could Sparkychan. Until that happened, she should try to make new friends at Grandma and Grandpa's house. And maybe have an adventure or three....

The Continuing Adventures of Sparkychan in GrandpaLand

When last we left Sparkychan and Gojochan, they were trying to figure out the difference between dream and reality. Had they really been rescued by onechan and imoto from the meanies who had imprisoned them in a space-faring box, or was it all a dream?

Well, Gojochan will have to speak for herself, but I can report that Sparkychan has been pursuing such metaphysical questions for the past several months in a super-duper top-secret adventure of her own. You see, the last time onechan and imoto visited their grandparents in Clinton, Sparkychan heard tell that Grandpa was a FILL-OZ-OF-HER. She didn't quite know what that meant, but she thought it had something to do with playing with grandchildren a lot and telling a lot of funny stories. So she decided she would stick around central NY instead of heading back to western NY with Gojochan, onechan, and imoto in the Super-Prius. But she forgot to tell anyone! We all were worried sick about Sparkychan when we realized she hadn't made the trip back to Dunkirk with us. Fortunately, on our last trip to Clinton, Sparkychan, her mission complete, made contact with us via Grandma, who had found her in the Drop Zone underneath papa's old bed, but didn't know who she was or where she belonged.

After the reuniting celebrations were complete, onechan, imoto, and Sparkychan had the following conversation (which might make more sense to new readers after checking out the following playbill):

Onechan: So where were you and what were you doing? We were missed you! And we were worried about you!
Sparkychan: I was on a super-duper top-secret mission.
Onechan: Huh? What's a mission?
Sparkychan: It's when you're trying to do something important.
Onechan: Like what?
Sparkychan: Like find out what a Fill-Oz-of-Her is. And figure out what's Really Real.
Imoto: Gojochan!
Sparkychan: Yes, I missed Gojochan a lot. But I had to complete my mission!
Onechan: You must have been lonely.
Sparkychan: Yes, but it was all worth it. I found out that Fill-Oz-of-Hers tell great stories.
Onechan: Like what?
Sparkychan: Like about the dog who goes on a walk every day and every day something funny happens. And about the man who forgets how to do things. And about Aki and Aya who live on a planet with four seasons, just like ours--winter, spring, summer, and up--except that in the last one, leaves fall up.
Imoto: Up!
Sparkychan: I know--funny, right?
Onechan: What does telling funny stories have to do with figuring out what's Really Real?
Sparkychan: Hmm, I'll have to think about that question!
Onechan: You don't know?
Sparkychan: Well, that's one thing I learned from listening to the Fill-Oz-of-Her's stories. Sometimes you have to stop and think.
Imoto: Dora!
Sparkychan: Yes, like Dora.
Onechan: But why didn't you come back to us sooner?
Sparkychan: I wanted to, but then I realized the Fill-Oz-of-Her needed my help.
Onechan: Huh? Why?
Sparkychan: Well, it turned out that there's a lot of heavy lifting involved in all that thinking--grandpa got a Fill-Oz-of-Hernia and needed an operation.
Onechan: What's an operation?
Sparkychan: It's when you go to the doctor and they help you get better.
Imoto: Byoin!
Sparkychan: Yes, at a hospital.
Onechan: Ooh, I play hospital all the time with my friends in Dunkirk!
Sparkychan: Really? I think playing hospital is kind of like telling stories.
Onechan: It's fun to pretend!
Sparkychan: I think that's why your grandpa is a Fill-Oz-of-Her. He gets to pretend every day!
Onechan: Hmm, maybe papa is a Fill-Oz-of-Her, too.
Sparkychan: I don't think so. I heard grandma telling her friend that when your papa was going to college, she told him he could be anything he wanted to be, except a Fill-Oz-of-Her.
Onechan: Why?
Sparkychan: She didn't say. She just thought it was funny he majored in Math and English.
Onechan: Why? What's majored?
Sparkychan: I don't know. I've been hanging around here trying to find out.
Imoto: Gakko!
Sparkychan: Yes, it has something to do with college, but I don't know what.
Onechan: I'll find out. I go to school at papa's gakko lots and lots and then sometimes I go up to Japanese school at mama's gakko!
Sparkychan: Cool! Thanks. So after your grandma told the joke I didn't get, that was when I found out that your grandpa needed my help.
Onechan: Not just with the Fill-Oz-of-Hernia?
Sparkychan: Nope, he was doing fine after the operation. This has something to do with a Pee-Essay test. It's the kind of test where you're supposed to score a zero.
Onechan: A zero! What kind of test is that?
Sparkychan: I'm still not sure. But grandma told her friend he wasn't getting zeros on his tests.
Onechan: Hmm, maybe that's like making a bogey.
Sparkychan: A bogey? What's that?
Imoto: Shikaku!
Onechan: Yeah, it's when you make a square instead of a circle on the golf course.
Sparkychan: Huh?
Onechan: One more than you should instead of one less.
Sparkychan: That's neat. I wonder what's one less than zero.
Imoto: Birdie!
Onechan: Yeah, one under par.
Sparkychan: Par?
Onechan: That's it! The Pee-Essay test is par zero! Grandpa needs to start making pars and birdies--and stop making so many bogeys!
Sparkychan: Oh, I think I get it. That's probably why he was taking out his golf clubs and making holes in the carpet.
Imoto: Swing!
Sparkychan: Yeah, he called it working on his swing. Didn't seem like work to me. But he sure did it a lot.
Onechan: Hmm, did he try to roll golf balls at chair legs a lot, too?
Sparkychan: Yes, he did, come to think of it.
Imoto: Putt!
Onechan: Yup, it's called putting. I'm very good at that. Better than papa. I think next time I visit grandpa I need to teach him how to roll the ball into the hole.
Sparkychan: The hole that goes to Kansas?
Onechan: Yeah!
Sparkychan: I have an idea! Maybe Gojochan and I can try to find The Little Worm and find out the secret to making birdies on the Pee-Essay test!
Onechan: The Little Worm knows that?
Sparkychan: The Little Worm knows lots of things. It comes from getting into so many computers.
Onechan: Oh.
Imoto: Oh.
Sparkychan: Maybe then, Grandpa won't have to drive to Syracuse so much this spring.
Onechan: Where's Syracuse?
Sparkychan: I'm not sure.
Onechan: We can ask the Super-Prius later.
Sparkychan: OK.
Onechan: Won't you two be lonely, going on an adventure all by yourselves?
Sparkychan: If it helps your grandpa, we can do it!
Imoto: Gaman!
Sparkychan: That's right, imoto. Sometimes you just have to tough things out.
Onechan: That's what mama tells me all the time.
Imoto: Gambare!
Onechan: That's what papa tells me all the time.
Sparkychan: What's it mean?
Onechan: Go for it! OK, so, I'll help grandpa with his putting next time I see him and you two try to find the Little Worm.
Sparkychan: OK! I'll go tell Gojochan the plan. Let's get back together for ice cream and tea in a few minutes.
Onechan: OK, see you soon! [To imoto:] We'd better tell our other friends. Sounds like Gojochan and Sparkychan will need lots of help!
Imoto: OK!

Sounds like a lot is going on. Stay tuned!

On This Day in History

Well, actually it was yesterday last year that it happened, but it was a year ago today that I blogged about missing the unfolding of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie advertising-campaign-cum-terrorist-threat-uh-hoax-(not!)-kerfluffle. Good times.

Free Fall

Episode 3 of 2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

In the last episode Kongsan and Jumpsan had gone into space to investigate the Green Box over Citytown. At the end they were watching the mysterious box change colors.

“Hey, look,” said Jump, “now it’s beginning to twist and spin.”

“It sure is,” said Kong. “I wonder what it’s up to.”



“Now it’s changing color, again,” said Jump.

“Yeah, it’s blue and purple.”



“And it’s spinning faster and faster. It doesn’t look like a box at all.”

“No, it’s all twirly and swirly,” said Kong.

“And whirly too! And now it’s green!”



“I wonder if it’s going to do all the colors of the rainbow?” asked Jump.

“I don’t know,” said Kong, “but it’s going faster and faster and faster and now it’s yellow.”



“Wow, this sure is interesting. I wonder what’s going to happen next?”

No sooner did Jumpsan ask the question, than a mysterious force began to draw her and Kong out of their spaceship and into deepest space. The deepest and coldest space ever! Brrrrrr!



“What’s going on?” asked Kong. “What’s happening to us?”

“I don’t know, but it sure is scary,” said Jumper. And Jumper was right. It was scary. And now they began to spin too.



And so Jumpsan and Kong began spinning and tumbling in space. Down and down and around and around and over and under and sideways, glideways, rideways, always. All ways they went, tumble tumble tumble.



They kept falling and falling. They were both scared. Their hearts were beating thumpa thumpa thumpa thump thump thump, thumpa thumpa thumpa thump thump thump, thumpa thumpa thumpa thump thump thump . . . But they didn’t give up. They thought about each other and all their friends and they even thought about Coco and Nila, the brave little girls who saved Gojochan and Sparkychan. Pretty soon they saw a strange planet.



And still, they kept falling. “It’s a pretty planet,” thought Kong. “It’s a pretty planet,” thought Jump. And still they fell. And then they got separated. Kong couldn’t see Jumper, and Jumper couldn’t see Kong.

Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Pretty soon Kong heard a little voice: “Kong, this is Nila, friend of Gojochan and Sparkychan. Be brave and you’ll be OK.”

So Kong was brave and he kept falling. It was scary. But it was good, too. It felt all light and tingly.



Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my! Jumper heard a little voice at the very same time: “Kong, this is Coco, friend of Gojochan and Sparkychan. Be brave and you’ll be OK.”

And Jumper was brave, very brave. It was scary. But it was good and tingly too.



And pretty soon Jumpsan landed in the woods near a patch of berries.



“Hmmm, I feel OK. Two legs, two arms, yes, got those,” said Jump as she counted her arms and legs. “Got my tail, got my eyes, got my nose and ears and mouth and tummy and . . . I got everything. I’m OK. But where’s Kong? I hope he’s OK.”

Pretty soon Kong landed in the woods on a green leafy plant.



Plop! Just so, it was a soft landing. “Got my legs, and arms, and toes and nose.” Said Kong. “Got my tummy and my eyes and my ears and my tail and . . . . I got everything. I’m OK. But where’s Jumper? I hope she’s OK.”

And so there they were, Jumper and Kong, on a strange planet. Both were OK. They listened to Coco and Nila and were brave. But they were also lost. Kong didn’t know where Jumper was, and Jumper didn’t know where Kong was. How would they find each other?

what superhero are YOU?

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 85% Supergirl 65% Green Lantern 65% Robin 60% Spider-Man 55% Hulk 55% Iron Man 50% Batman 35% Wonder Woman 35% Catwoman 35% The Flash 20%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

I had a dream

Hey, Sparkychan, I had a strange dream last night.

You did? Tell me about it.



I dreamt that some old meanie attacked us and imprisoned us in a box.

Oh, that's a scary dream, Gojochan, very scary.

And then, you know what, Sparkychan?

What? Tell me tell me!

They sent the box into space. Way way way out there to no where.

That's scary, very scary. Gives me the creeping creepies.

Yeah, and we didn't have any tea in the box!

No tea! What about ice cream?

No ice cream either.

Wow, Gojochan, that is a very scary dream. No tea and ice cream. I don't know if I could live without tea and ice cream.

Yeah, but then you know what happened?

What?

The box stopped moving . . .

Yes, yes . . .

And the top opened up . . .

And . . . .

And there was a lovely little girl who lifted us out.

Wow!

And gave us a ride in her baby carriage.

Sounds like fun!

Oh, it was Sparkychan, lots of fun. And she had a little sister who was very nice as well.

Wow, two little girls to play with us. What fun. But, um, err . . . did they drink tea with us, Gojochan?

I don't know, Sparkychan. All of a sudden the dream was over and I woke up.

I wonder if those little girls were from Kansas.

I don't know Sparkychan, but they sure were strong and brave.

2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

Episode One: I gotta’ go

Kid's Advisory: The following story shows a plush toy taking a poop. No actual poop is depicted in the story. However, it is advised that anyone over 21 be accompanied by a child when reading this story.

It was a bright day in Citytown on Planet X. All of a sudden the Red Phone began to ring.



“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. It was ever so loud.

“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ringghhh!” Jumper wanted to answer it. But she couldn’t. Jumper was taking a poop and, you know, business is business.



“Oh dear! Oh dear!” though Jumper, “What am I going to do. I can’t answer the phone while I’m pooping, not until I’m done.”



“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” went the phone. At last Jumper was done pooping. But she still couldn’t answer the phone. Because Mommy had taught her, “Always wash your hands after you’ve pooped.”



And the faucet was so hard to turn. The phone kept ringing, “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. “Gotta wash my hands, gotta wash my hands,” thought Jumper.

At last Jumper was done washing her hands.

And the phone stopped ringing. “Oh no!, she thought, I missed the phone call!”

---

Meanwhile her friend King Kong was out playing in the jumgle.



He heard the phone ringing, ever so softly in the distance. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. “Citytown is in trouble,” thought Kong, “I gotta’ to Jumper's house and find out what’s wrong.” So Kong starting swinging through the jungle.



As he got closer and closer to Jumper’s house, the phone got louder and louder – “Ringgh! Ringgh!”

He finally got to the phone. "Where's Jumper?" He thought. "Maybe she's out and can't get to the phone." It was still ringing. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. Kong picked up the phone:

“This is Kong answering Jumper’s Red Phone, how may I help you?”

“This is Mayor Grumpy Grumble of Citytown. Tell Jumpsan that there’s a mysterious green box up in space over Citytown.”

“Will do,” said Kong. “Don’t worry, Jumpsan and I will investigate.”

“I’m so glad you were able to get to the phone in time,” said Jumper. “I was worried about missing a call on the Red Phone.”

“No problemo,” said Kong. “That’s what friends are for.”

“What was it about?” asked Jump.

“A mysterious green box has appeared in space over Citytown.”

“A mysterious green box?”

“That’s what the mayor said. I think we’d better investigate.”

“Right,” said Jump. “But let’s have some hot chocolate and cookies first.”

“Right,” said Kong. “We can talk about it and plan plans and scheme schemes.”



And so the two friends planned plans and schemed schemes while enjoying some delicious hot chocolate and cookies. Yum!

Meanwhile, the green box was up in space, hovering over Citytown. What is it? What's it doing? Is it good? Is it bad? Or is it just green, and blue and red and yellow and white too?

Shameless Plug: It's a Blast

Sparkychan: Hey, kids, be sure to see 2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey, it's a blast!

Gojojan: Yeah, it stars our good friends, Kongsan and Jumpsan. They're cool!

Sparkychan: And it's got neat special effects.

Gojochan: And a shocking opening scene, so be sure to warn your parents so they're not too upset.

Sparkychan: After all, everybody poops, no? Even movie stars and super-heroes.

Gojochan: You weren't supposed to tell them, Sparky.

Sparkychan: I know, but it ... just ... you know ... slipped out. I'm sorry.

Gojochan: Oh, that's OK. I'm kinda' glad you said it. Let's go have some tea.

Sparkychan: Yes. And ice cream, too.

Coming to a theatre near you – 2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

Coming Attractions

Kong, Jumper, and the Green Pavilion:



Have they heard about the rescue of Gojochan and Sparkychan? Do they know about the League of Pretty Good Amazons, aka the LPGA? Do Coco and Yaya have the Right Stuff to join the LPGA? What's the Green Pavilion?

So many mysteries.