New T-Joh Joint: "What's Up with Lexi?"

The LPGA's rookie class of 2014 can't catch any breaks.  The very same day I finally get their membership right I find out Tiffany Joh has released a new video.  I present "What's Up with Lexi?"



'14ers, the ball is in your court. Or rather, you have the honors now....

[Update 1 (9:46 pm):  Ugh, I was trying to figure out what T-Joh was parodying and having no luck, but 9-going-on-10 onechan knew right away.  Of course, she sent me to a different parody of "What Does the Fox Say" rather than the original, which is when I figured out that I am super-old.]

Make It BABYMETAL in 2012!

Happy New Year from Mostly Harmless!  Enjoy some BABYMETAL, what looks like an elementary-school-aged kawaii metal band from Japan, to kick off 2012:



OK, so even though Laughing Squid thinks they're teenagers, I'm going with Blabbermouth, who has the lead singer at 13 and the 2 dancers/screamers at 12, not least b/c it fits my '12 theme.  Anyway, if you think they look young in this video, check out this fan montage, which lays the "Doki Doki Morning" track over clips of Sakura Gakuin performing live (that's the band they are an offshoot of):



It's going to be a great year!  Or at least a weird one!  How could it not be when a fan came out with a computer-game style video of their debut song within 8 days of its official release?

Not a Golf Ball

Not Golf

But it could be, because there's an over the water driving range just to the right of where we're looking.

Valentine's Day Showdown: Ueda and Moromizato VS Arashi

Momoko Ueda and Shinobo Moromizato appeared on the Japanese television show VS Arashi on Valentine's Day. Arashi's a boy band in the SMAP mode, just younger and less successful. They're branching out into other forms of entertainment, among them this game show/reality tv challenge type thing. You have to see it for yourself.



The Full Metal Archivist isn't that impressed. Me, I'm thinking that Ueda is hoping the Showdown in Singapore will be that much easier after facing off against Arashi the last two Saturdays.

[Update 1 (4:52 am): For more that hasn't made it to youtube yet, check ut this hilarious overview (in English, natch!).

オバマmania

You don't need to understand Japanese to appreciate this NHK report on Obama City and Obama onsen (in Nagasaki):



This one from February has English subtitles:



As always, Japan Probe is the place to go for further background. Here's James's takes on a commercial that has been called racist; on a Japanese Obama lookalike; with more video on celebrations in Japan; on Jero's reaction to Obama's win....

Maybe we can expect a win from Oyama (Shiho) this week in the Mizuno Classic!

This Had SO Better Not Be an April Fool's Day Joke

Fafblog is back! Or is it?

The nose knows

Can you do this with your nose?

Silly Vegetable Music

Note that the sound appears to be delayed with respect to the visuals.



This too is Japanese:



Twinkle twinkle little paprika:



I don't know whether you want to show these to kids. It might give them the idea that it's more fun, and more authentically Japanese, to make music with their vegetables than to eat them.

Here's a little meat:

She's been playing three months!

Maybe It's Just Me

But the latest turn in the cavalcade of wackiness that is the Lyndon LaRouche cult looks like it will yield the richest vein of humor yet. (If you have not kept up with the recent history of LaRouche and the LaRouche Youth Movement (LYM) with their studies of the details of Kepler and the power of bel canto singing, this article by Scott McLemee from Inside Higher Ed is a good place to start.) Their newest targets appear to be MySpace, Facebook and violent video games (maybe they're about to join forces with Sens. Lieberman, Clinton, Bayh and Brownback). You can learn all about the The Noösphere vs. The Blogosphere: Is the Devil in Your Laptop? here and here (warning: second link is a 22 MB .pdf) - and yes that is Bertrand Russell in the background.

There is a sad element to it of course, as this is just the latest in a series of Larouchian fund-raising gambits targeted at the gullible and confused of the world. Still, it made me laugh. In fact the following from a conference report , "Outflanking the British Empire, The Mass Effect", had me literally in stitches. It is amusing when read, but try singing it with gusto in a group to get the full effect. Holiday fun for the whole family!

A final presentation by the LYM’s Lewis Whilden, attacking the Facebook culture of today’s youth, concluded with the LYM, in four-part polyphony, singing the following lyrics, adapted to Felix Mendelssohn’s beautiful, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”:

Murdoch wants you in your place
firmly planted in MySpace.
While you’re walking to your class
out comes a bomb from Cheney’s ass.
This you do not want to see,
while the Dick gets whipped with glee,
We can’t afford to bomb Iran,
Bush’s Dick, he thinks he can.
That’s if you stay in your place,
firmly planted in MySpace.

When you’re fondling your mouse,
the bank forecloses on your house.
From the crash you cannot flee,
at least you have your HALO 3.
Homeless in the streets you roam,
a cardboard Xbox is your home.
Santa gives the gaming toys,
to 20-year-old little boys.
Games will keep you in your place,
nothing real in your space.

The Full Metal Archivist Blogs!

In Japanese! Check out SMAP Watcher when you get a chance. Maybe someday she'll rethink her "no videos" position. Until then, you can review the Mostly Harmless SMAP archives and do that Google blog search you've always wanted to do but never took the time.... Or learn to read Japanese.

On a side note, the U2bes has lots of Inai Inai Ba, Pitagora Suichi, and Juppon Anime video up lately. If you like cute kids, Rube Goldberg-esque contraptions, or ten sticks doing funny things, they're for you. Here's one to whet your appetite:



This one's subbed, but it's just as fun w/o translation.

Lift Off

Episode 2 of 2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

In episode one Jumper and Kong got a call on the Red Phone. “There’s a mysterious green box up in space over Citytown,” said Mayor Grumpy Grumble. And so the two friends sat down to plan plans and scheme schemes, while drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies. Note for squeamish adults: there's no poop in this episode.

Kong: “So, how’re we going to investigate the green box if it’s up in space?”

Jumper: “Why, we’ll have to go up in space.”

Kong: “Gee, I’ve never been in space. How do we get there?”

“We’ll have to fly in a rocket ship.”

“A rocket ship! Won’t that go higher than high and faster than fast?”

“Yes, it will. It’s so neat.”

“Uh . . . I don’t know . . . I mean, what if it crashes?“

“It won’t crash, Kong. It’s safe.”

“I don’t know. Sounds pretty scary to me. You ever done this before?”

“Lots of times. That’s how I used to visit Sparkychan and Gojochan.”

“Well, OK, I guess, if you say so.”

And so the two friends went to Jump-Off Space Port, at the very farthest edge of Citytown:



When they got inside it was BIG.





Finally, they saw their space ship. And they jumped right on it:





Jump: “Um, err, I don’t think we’re supposed to be on the outside of the ship.”

Kong: “Why not?”

“’Cause we might fall off. And get cold.”

“Get cold?”

“Yeah, Kong, it’s cold out in space.”

So the two friends got inside the space ship:







Then the space ship took off. Rumble rumble roar roar whooshhh whooshhh whooshhhhhh . . . . it went. Jump and Kong were in space!

“Whee! This isn’t so bad,” said Kong.

“That’s right,” said Jump, “it’s not bad it all. It’s fun.”

And so they flew and flew and talked and talked. They even had hot chocolate and cookies. And then . . . .



“There it is,” said Kong, “the green box.”

They got closer, and the box got bigger . . .



. . . and bigger . . .

“Boy, it sure is big,” said Jump.



And, look!” said Kong. “It’s turning funny colors”

And so it was:



“It’s turning blue and red,” said Jump. “I wonder what’s happening?”



“It’s still changing,” said Jump. “I’m getting scared.”

"Me, too," said Kong. "But, ya know, it's kinda pretty, too. Don't you think?"



“Looks like it’s heating up,” said Kong.



“Now it’s glowing,” said Jump. “I wonder what’s happening. Is it going to explode?”

“I don’t know,” said Kong, “I don’t know. But I just talked with Mayor Grumble, and he said that Citytown is OK.”

“That’s good,” said Jump. “I think we just have to keep calm and investigate.”

And so the friends kept calm and began to investigate. What did they find out? Did the green box explode? Did it turn into candy? What did it do? Tune in next time for the next episode of 2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey.

Swing Time

Here's a cartoon called "Swing":



And here's Uncle Bill playing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot":

I had a dream

Hey, Sparkychan, I had a strange dream last night.

You did? Tell me about it.



I dreamt that some old meanie attacked us and imprisoned us in a box.

Oh, that's a scary dream, Gojochan, very scary.

And then, you know what, Sparkychan?

What? Tell me tell me!

They sent the box into space. Way way way out there to no where.

That's scary, very scary. Gives me the creeping creepies.

Yeah, and we didn't have any tea in the box!

No tea! What about ice cream?

No ice cream either.

Wow, Gojochan, that is a very scary dream. No tea and ice cream. I don't know if I could live without tea and ice cream.

Yeah, but then you know what happened?

What?

The box stopped moving . . .

Yes, yes . . .

And the top opened up . . .

And . . . .

And there was a lovely little girl who lifted us out.

Wow!

And gave us a ride in her baby carriage.

Sounds like fun!

Oh, it was Sparkychan, lots of fun. And she had a little sister who was very nice as well.

Wow, two little girls to play with us. What fun. But, um, err . . . did they drink tea with us, Gojochan?

I don't know, Sparkychan. All of a sudden the dream was over and I woke up.

I wonder if those little girls were from Kansas.

I don't know Sparkychan, but they sure were strong and brave.

2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

Episode One: I gotta’ go

Kid's Advisory: The following story shows a plush toy taking a poop. No actual poop is depicted in the story. However, it is advised that anyone over 21 be accompanied by a child when reading this story.

It was a bright day in Citytown on Planet X. All of a sudden the Red Phone began to ring.



“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. It was ever so loud.

“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ringghhh!” Jumper wanted to answer it. But she couldn’t. Jumper was taking a poop and, you know, business is business.



“Oh dear! Oh dear!” though Jumper, “What am I going to do. I can’t answer the phone while I’m pooping, not until I’m done.”



“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” went the phone. At last Jumper was done pooping. But she still couldn’t answer the phone. Because Mommy had taught her, “Always wash your hands after you’ve pooped.”



And the faucet was so hard to turn. The phone kept ringing, “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. “Gotta wash my hands, gotta wash my hands,” thought Jumper.

At last Jumper was done washing her hands.

And the phone stopped ringing. “Oh no!, she thought, I missed the phone call!”

---

Meanwhile her friend King Kong was out playing in the jumgle.



He heard the phone ringing, ever so softly in the distance. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. “Citytown is in trouble,” thought Kong, “I gotta’ to Jumper's house and find out what’s wrong.” So Kong starting swinging through the jungle.



As he got closer and closer to Jumper’s house, the phone got louder and louder – “Ringgh! Ringgh!”

He finally got to the phone. "Where's Jumper?" He thought. "Maybe she's out and can't get to the phone." It was still ringing. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. Kong picked up the phone:

“This is Kong answering Jumper’s Red Phone, how may I help you?”

“This is Mayor Grumpy Grumble of Citytown. Tell Jumpsan that there’s a mysterious green box up in space over Citytown.”

“Will do,” said Kong. “Don’t worry, Jumpsan and I will investigate.”

“I’m so glad you were able to get to the phone in time,” said Jumper. “I was worried about missing a call on the Red Phone.”

“No problemo,” said Kong. “That’s what friends are for.”

“What was it about?” asked Jump.

“A mysterious green box has appeared in space over Citytown.”

“A mysterious green box?”

“That’s what the mayor said. I think we’d better investigate.”

“Right,” said Jump. “But let’s have some hot chocolate and cookies first.”

“Right,” said Kong. “We can talk about it and plan plans and scheme schemes.”



And so the two friends planned plans and schemed schemes while enjoying some delicious hot chocolate and cookies. Yum!

Meanwhile, the green box was up in space, hovering over Citytown. What is it? What's it doing? Is it good? Is it bad? Or is it just green, and blue and red and yellow and white too?

Red Green and Vines

mud print

Pink Weeds on Saturday