Showing posts with label meta-epic similes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meta-epic similes. Show all posts
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Honda LPGA Thailand Sunday: Must-See TV (Non-Spoiler Post)
Hey folks, set your DVRs for the final round of the Honda LPGA Thailand today! I won't be giving away what happened right now, and if you don't want to know, don't click on the above link. But if you do, be sure to look at the scorecards of the top half-dozen finishers.... Wow!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Safeway Classic Sunday: Way to Go, Mikan!
Congratulations to Mika Miyazato on her 1st career LPGA victory at the Safeway Classic! She played near-flawless golf for 44 holes, but had to gut it out over her last 10 after some hiccups midway through her final round gave new life to those chasing her.
Her problems started when she missed a 4-foot birdie attempt on the par-5 9th. Had she made it, she would have gotten to -14 and extended her lead on playing partner So Yeon Ryu to 4 shots (and put together her 3rd-straight 34 on the front!). As it was, her lead remained 3 over Ryu and Haeji Kang. No harm, no foul, right? It certainly seemed so when Mikan put herself in great position to get it right back with a birdie on the par-5 10th. She had a 25-yard wedge shot from a perfect position in the fairway, but babied the pitch and left it on the fringe 25 feet short of the pin. From there, she decided to run a wedge, but carried it too far and put it more than 10 feet by the hole. When she missed her par save and Ryu made her birdie, all of a sudden her lead was just 1. And it looked like it was going to disappear on the par-3 11th when she pushed her tee shot right toward the water hazard that gives the Ghost Creek course its name. But it landed right of the creek and got a huge bounce up and left into the rough just shy of the fringe, only 20 feet from the pin. It looked like that would be the break that turned her round back around, but she actually had a terrible lie and when she babied her chip, it didn't make it past the top of a ridge and rolled back away from the flag, ending up at least 30 feet from the hole. That's when Mikan made the putt that saved the tournament for her, a fantastic par save that never deviated from the center of the cup, prompting the most excited reaction I've ever seen from her.
Still, even though she put those 3 terrible chips behind her and seemingly righted her ship after the roller-coaster ride of the previous 3 holes, she couldn't do more than hang in there with par after par over the next several holes. And the sharks continued circling her life boat. Ryu matched her par for par early on the back, staying within 1 shot of the lead. Kang got it to -11 when she birdied the par-3 16th. Cristie Kerr was hanging around at -9 for most of the back 9. And Brittany Lincicome and Inbee Park were putting it into overdrive as Mikan was stuck in neutral. But then, amazingly--some might say, impossibly--the sharks blinked. Kang doubled the drive-able par-4 17th and even a fantastic final-hole birdie left her with a 66 for the day and a -10 total for the week. Ryu bogeyed the par-5 16th, unable to take advantage of her distance off the tee relative to Mikan. Kerr, one of the best putters on tour, had trouble getting her putts to drop on the back 9 and had to settle for a -10 total. Park drove the 17th and had a 10-foot putt for eagle to leap into a tie for the lead, but this fantastic putter, who couldn't miss a thing in the final round of her win at the Evian Masters a few Sundays ago, missed this one and failed to birdie 18. Yes, she had birdied 5 of her last 11 holes--just as Lincicome before her birdied 5 of her last 12 holes--but both just ran out of real estate and finished at -11.
So when Ryu birdied 16 to join them and give herself a great chance to win her 2nd LPGA tournament in a row, Mikan came to the 17th tee with a slim 1-shot lead on a trio of major winners. All she did was hit a perfect hybrid right into the neck of the fairway, just to the left of the green. And all she had to do was hit a great little wedge--exactly the kind of shot that had given her so much trouble on the 10th and 11th holes. But this time, she put it close and she made the putt for birdie to get back to -13. When Ryu couldn't match it, Mikan had extended her lead to 2 shots, right where it had been at the start of the day. And when Mikan split the fairway and Ryu pushed her drive into the water hazard to the right, all she had to do was keep her approach shot away from the pond guarding the front-right side of the 18th green. Fittingly, she faced yet another tricky chip from the rough when she hit such a solid shot that it ran through the back left fringe. After a long wait (Ryu had hit her 3rd shot into the back-left gallery and did well to save a bogey with a great chip-in after powering her previous pitch nearly into the pond!), Mikan chipped it to within a foot and tapped in for the win.
And what a great win it was. Mikan not only had to go from cruising--a 40-hole bogey-free run from the 7th hole Friday to the 9th hole Sunday during which she made 11 birdies--to grinding, but she also had to bounce back from some heart-stoppingly bad pitches and chips in the midst of final-9 pressure with the tournament on the line. She missed more greens in her final 10 holes than she had in her 1st 2 rounds, but managed to limit the damage to only 1 bogey (her 2nd of the tournament). She definitely earned the win on a day when players much more accustomed to the LPGA winner's circle just couldn't put enough pressure on her.
There were certainly a lot of other great stories this week. It was great to see Brittany Lincicome, Ya Ni Tseng, Michelle Wie, and Jee Young Lee playing good golf again (the bombers strike back!), exciting to see Sydnee Michaels and Haeji Kang experience being near the top of the leaderboard on the weekend, difficult to watch Cristie Kerr and Paula Creamer struggle with the burden of being winless since 2010 while trying to get into the hunt this week, great to see Kang, Michaels, and Lizette Salas get the best finishes of their careers, and nice to see Ai Miyazato close with a 67 to sneak into the top 20. Stacy Lewis was flat this week, but she held onto the top spot on the money list. Still, with 6 golfers already across the $1M barrier, Azahara Munoz poised to cross it, and Mikan and Ryu not far behind her, Lewis's lead is a slim one. About half a stroke separates the 1st (Ai Miyazato) from the 10th (Ya Ni Tseng) player in the race for the Vare Trophy for lowest scoring average. Lewis's lead of 21 points over Ya Ni Tseng in the Player of the Year race is ample in comparison.
But the big story is that Mika Miyazato has put herself smack into the middle of all these races with her win yesterday. She's 8th on the money list, 9th in scoring average, and 6th on the POY ranking. Now the burden of being the best golfer on the LPGA without a win on tour falls squarely on the strong shoulders of Amy Yang. Big hitters tend to win the CN Canadian Women's Open--maybe it'll be her turn next week?
Her problems started when she missed a 4-foot birdie attempt on the par-5 9th. Had she made it, she would have gotten to -14 and extended her lead on playing partner So Yeon Ryu to 4 shots (and put together her 3rd-straight 34 on the front!). As it was, her lead remained 3 over Ryu and Haeji Kang. No harm, no foul, right? It certainly seemed so when Mikan put herself in great position to get it right back with a birdie on the par-5 10th. She had a 25-yard wedge shot from a perfect position in the fairway, but babied the pitch and left it on the fringe 25 feet short of the pin. From there, she decided to run a wedge, but carried it too far and put it more than 10 feet by the hole. When she missed her par save and Ryu made her birdie, all of a sudden her lead was just 1. And it looked like it was going to disappear on the par-3 11th when she pushed her tee shot right toward the water hazard that gives the Ghost Creek course its name. But it landed right of the creek and got a huge bounce up and left into the rough just shy of the fringe, only 20 feet from the pin. It looked like that would be the break that turned her round back around, but she actually had a terrible lie and when she babied her chip, it didn't make it past the top of a ridge and rolled back away from the flag, ending up at least 30 feet from the hole. That's when Mikan made the putt that saved the tournament for her, a fantastic par save that never deviated from the center of the cup, prompting the most excited reaction I've ever seen from her.
Still, even though she put those 3 terrible chips behind her and seemingly righted her ship after the roller-coaster ride of the previous 3 holes, she couldn't do more than hang in there with par after par over the next several holes. And the sharks continued circling her life boat. Ryu matched her par for par early on the back, staying within 1 shot of the lead. Kang got it to -11 when she birdied the par-3 16th. Cristie Kerr was hanging around at -9 for most of the back 9. And Brittany Lincicome and Inbee Park were putting it into overdrive as Mikan was stuck in neutral. But then, amazingly--some might say, impossibly--the sharks blinked. Kang doubled the drive-able par-4 17th and even a fantastic final-hole birdie left her with a 66 for the day and a -10 total for the week. Ryu bogeyed the par-5 16th, unable to take advantage of her distance off the tee relative to Mikan. Kerr, one of the best putters on tour, had trouble getting her putts to drop on the back 9 and had to settle for a -10 total. Park drove the 17th and had a 10-foot putt for eagle to leap into a tie for the lead, but this fantastic putter, who couldn't miss a thing in the final round of her win at the Evian Masters a few Sundays ago, missed this one and failed to birdie 18. Yes, she had birdied 5 of her last 11 holes--just as Lincicome before her birdied 5 of her last 12 holes--but both just ran out of real estate and finished at -11.
So when Ryu birdied 16 to join them and give herself a great chance to win her 2nd LPGA tournament in a row, Mikan came to the 17th tee with a slim 1-shot lead on a trio of major winners. All she did was hit a perfect hybrid right into the neck of the fairway, just to the left of the green. And all she had to do was hit a great little wedge--exactly the kind of shot that had given her so much trouble on the 10th and 11th holes. But this time, she put it close and she made the putt for birdie to get back to -13. When Ryu couldn't match it, Mikan had extended her lead to 2 shots, right where it had been at the start of the day. And when Mikan split the fairway and Ryu pushed her drive into the water hazard to the right, all she had to do was keep her approach shot away from the pond guarding the front-right side of the 18th green. Fittingly, she faced yet another tricky chip from the rough when she hit such a solid shot that it ran through the back left fringe. After a long wait (Ryu had hit her 3rd shot into the back-left gallery and did well to save a bogey with a great chip-in after powering her previous pitch nearly into the pond!), Mikan chipped it to within a foot and tapped in for the win.
And what a great win it was. Mikan not only had to go from cruising--a 40-hole bogey-free run from the 7th hole Friday to the 9th hole Sunday during which she made 11 birdies--to grinding, but she also had to bounce back from some heart-stoppingly bad pitches and chips in the midst of final-9 pressure with the tournament on the line. She missed more greens in her final 10 holes than she had in her 1st 2 rounds, but managed to limit the damage to only 1 bogey (her 2nd of the tournament). She definitely earned the win on a day when players much more accustomed to the LPGA winner's circle just couldn't put enough pressure on her.
There were certainly a lot of other great stories this week. It was great to see Brittany Lincicome, Ya Ni Tseng, Michelle Wie, and Jee Young Lee playing good golf again (the bombers strike back!), exciting to see Sydnee Michaels and Haeji Kang experience being near the top of the leaderboard on the weekend, difficult to watch Cristie Kerr and Paula Creamer struggle with the burden of being winless since 2010 while trying to get into the hunt this week, great to see Kang, Michaels, and Lizette Salas get the best finishes of their careers, and nice to see Ai Miyazato close with a 67 to sneak into the top 20. Stacy Lewis was flat this week, but she held onto the top spot on the money list. Still, with 6 golfers already across the $1M barrier, Azahara Munoz poised to cross it, and Mikan and Ryu not far behind her, Lewis's lead is a slim one. About half a stroke separates the 1st (Ai Miyazato) from the 10th (Ya Ni Tseng) player in the race for the Vare Trophy for lowest scoring average. Lewis's lead of 21 points over Ya Ni Tseng in the Player of the Year race is ample in comparison.
But the big story is that Mika Miyazato has put herself smack into the middle of all these races with her win yesterday. She's 8th on the money list, 9th in scoring average, and 6th on the POY ranking. Now the burden of being the best golfer on the LPGA without a win on tour falls squarely on the strong shoulders of Amy Yang. Big hitters tend to win the CN Canadian Women's Open--maybe it'll be her turn next week?
Saturday, August 11, 2012
NEC Karuizawa 72 Ladies Setup: More Rebel Alliance/Empire Action
I had some fun with my title's Star Wars analogy in my post on the Jamie Farr Toledo Classic on the LPGA, so I was surprised to see the same Rebel Alliance/Empire shootout theme holding true at the NEC Karuizawa 72 Ladies on the JLPGA. 32-year-old journeywoman Tomoko Kusakabe (-8), who's never broken into the top 40 on the year-end money list in her 1st 8 years on tour, leads a rebel alliance of young guns looking to deny the tour's biggest names a victory tomorrow, including 23-year-old Eun-Bi Jang (-7), 21-year-old Miki Sakai (-6), 22-year-old Kaori Ohe (-6), 24-year-old Teresa Lu (-6), 24-year-old Erika Kikuchi (-6), 25-year-old Yumiko Yoshida (-6), 19-year-old Harukyo Nomura (-5), 26-year-old Esther Lee (-5), and 26-year-old Na-Ri Kim (-4). It's a tall order, as the empire is lead by living legend Yuri Fudoh at -7, flanked by Sun-Ju Ahn and Mi-Jeong Jeon at -5, and Sakura Yokomine, Chie Arimura, and Bo-Mee Lee at -4. But Kusakabe's best career finish was a T6 here in 2009, so maybe she'll be up to the challenge!
Jamie Farr Toledo Classic Thursday and Friday: Rebel Alliance/Empire Shootout in Process
Scoring has always been low at Highland Meadows in the Jamie Farr Toledo Classic, which may as well be called the Se Ri Pak Shootout, what with her 5 wins at this event. Paula Creamer hung on in 2008 after opening with a 60. Eunjung Yi shocked the field with a moving-day 61 in 2009 and beat Morgan Pressel in a playoff. In fact, the last player to win without breaking 65 was Mi Hyun Kim in 2006.
Given that history, everyone playing this week knew they'd have to go low or go home. With the cut line at E, big names like Ya Ni Tseng, Ai Miyazato, Azahara Munoz, Anna Nordqvist, Michelle Wie, and Pressel have had to settle for the latter option, not to mention players of the caliber of Eun-Hee Ji, Mina Harigae, Jennifer Song, Mariajo Uribe, Lizette Salas, Nicole Castrale, Vicky Hurst, and Ryann O'Toole. But plenty of other golfers have gone the former route, including many names we haven't seen in a long time near the top of the leaderboard.
On Thursday, Pernilla Lindberg fired an 8-birdie, 7-under-par 64 to take a 2-shot lead on fellow members of the rebel alliance Meredith Duncan, Numa Gulyanamitta, Chella Choi, and Karine Icher (not to mention Mika Miyazato and Angela Stanford). Joining them in the 60s were the likes of Ayaka Kaneko, Gerina Piller, Ilhee Lee, and Jenny Shin (and, oh yeah, Amy Yang and So Yeon Ryu) at -4, Jane Park, Jee Young Lee, Lizette Salas, Danielle Kang, Dewi Claire Schreefel, Danah Bordner, Jane Rah, Jacqui Concolino, Brooke Pancake, and Rachel Rohanna (whoops, also, Laura Davies, Stacy Lewis, Paula Creamer, Hee-Kyung Seo, Hee-Won Han, Jeong Jang, and Janice Moodie) at -3, and a huge group at -2 that included P.K. Kongkrapham, Valentine Derrey, Cindy LaCrosse, Mo Martin, Kathleen Ekey, Sydnee Michaels, Christine Song, Samantha Richdale, Jennie Lee, Nicole Hage, and Moira Dunn (oops, forgot Ji-Yai Shin, In-Kyung Kim, Inbee Park, Brittany Lincicome, Sandra Gal, Momoko Ueda, Natalie Gulbis, Katherine Hull, Lindsey Wright, and Candie Kung).
On Friday, the empire struck back to some extent, with Mika Miyazato, Inbee Park, and Hee Kyung Seo only 1 shot behind new rebel alliance leader Chella Choi, followed by So Yeon Ryu, Hee-Won Han, Karine Icher, and Pernilla Lindberg at -7, Ji-Yai Shin, In-Kyung Kim, Angela Stanford, Beatriz Recari, and Jacqui Concolino at -6, and Stacy Lewis, Mi Jung Hur, Lindsey Wright, Dewi Claire Schreefel, Sydnee Michaels, and Kathleen Ekey at -5.
So as moving day beckons, will we see another Eunjung Yi-like performance by a rebel alliance leader, or will a big name bring a Se Ri Pak-like Death Star blast to the hopes of the rest of the field? I'd say "stay tuned," but between the London Olympics and Tiger in contention at the PGA Championship, the decision by the tournament organizerts to save money and not pay for Golf Channel coverage is looking pretty smart (although maddening to LPGA junkies like me!). I'm hoping for big moves by Momoko Ueda (E), 2010 champion Na Yeon Choi (-1), Amy Yang (-2), Tiffany Joh (-2), Ayaka Kaneko (-2), Paula Creamer (-3), and Jane Park (-3), rooting for Mika Miyazato to break through for her 1st LPGA win, and expecting at least a couple of golfers to go lower than Lindberg's opening 64 on the weekend. How about you?
Given that history, everyone playing this week knew they'd have to go low or go home. With the cut line at E, big names like Ya Ni Tseng, Ai Miyazato, Azahara Munoz, Anna Nordqvist, Michelle Wie, and Pressel have had to settle for the latter option, not to mention players of the caliber of Eun-Hee Ji, Mina Harigae, Jennifer Song, Mariajo Uribe, Lizette Salas, Nicole Castrale, Vicky Hurst, and Ryann O'Toole. But plenty of other golfers have gone the former route, including many names we haven't seen in a long time near the top of the leaderboard.
On Thursday, Pernilla Lindberg fired an 8-birdie, 7-under-par 64 to take a 2-shot lead on fellow members of the rebel alliance Meredith Duncan, Numa Gulyanamitta, Chella Choi, and Karine Icher (not to mention Mika Miyazato and Angela Stanford). Joining them in the 60s were the likes of Ayaka Kaneko, Gerina Piller, Ilhee Lee, and Jenny Shin (and, oh yeah, Amy Yang and So Yeon Ryu) at -4, Jane Park, Jee Young Lee, Lizette Salas, Danielle Kang, Dewi Claire Schreefel, Danah Bordner, Jane Rah, Jacqui Concolino, Brooke Pancake, and Rachel Rohanna (whoops, also, Laura Davies, Stacy Lewis, Paula Creamer, Hee-Kyung Seo, Hee-Won Han, Jeong Jang, and Janice Moodie) at -3, and a huge group at -2 that included P.K. Kongkrapham, Valentine Derrey, Cindy LaCrosse, Mo Martin, Kathleen Ekey, Sydnee Michaels, Christine Song, Samantha Richdale, Jennie Lee, Nicole Hage, and Moira Dunn (oops, forgot Ji-Yai Shin, In-Kyung Kim, Inbee Park, Brittany Lincicome, Sandra Gal, Momoko Ueda, Natalie Gulbis, Katherine Hull, Lindsey Wright, and Candie Kung).
On Friday, the empire struck back to some extent, with Mika Miyazato, Inbee Park, and Hee Kyung Seo only 1 shot behind new rebel alliance leader Chella Choi, followed by So Yeon Ryu, Hee-Won Han, Karine Icher, and Pernilla Lindberg at -7, Ji-Yai Shin, In-Kyung Kim, Angela Stanford, Beatriz Recari, and Jacqui Concolino at -6, and Stacy Lewis, Mi Jung Hur, Lindsey Wright, Dewi Claire Schreefel, Sydnee Michaels, and Kathleen Ekey at -5.
So as moving day beckons, will we see another Eunjung Yi-like performance by a rebel alliance leader, or will a big name bring a Se Ri Pak-like Death Star blast to the hopes of the rest of the field? I'd say "stay tuned," but between the London Olympics and Tiger in contention at the PGA Championship, the decision by the tournament organizerts to save money and not pay for Golf Channel coverage is looking pretty smart (although maddening to LPGA junkies like me!). I'm hoping for big moves by Momoko Ueda (E), 2010 champion Na Yeon Choi (-1), Amy Yang (-2), Tiffany Joh (-2), Ayaka Kaneko (-2), Paula Creamer (-3), and Jane Park (-3), rooting for Mika Miyazato to break through for her 1st LPGA win, and expecting at least a couple of golfers to go lower than Lindberg's opening 64 on the weekend. How about you?
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Golf5 Ladies Saturday: Can Ritsuko Ryu Make It 2 in a Row?
Last week, Ritsuko Ryu came from behind for her 1st career JLPGA victory. This week, her 2nd-straight 69 launched her into a tie for the lead at the Golf5 Ladies with Miki Saiki, Li-Ying Ye, and Hiromi Takesue. A 3-birdie run in a 4-hole stretch midway through the back that allowed her to close with a 34 (tied with many for best score on that side of the day) enabled Ryu to catch her co-leaders and pass 1st-round leader Na-Ri Kim, who stumbled with a couple of bogeys both early and late in her round but is still only 1 behind Ryu, just like the biggest dark horse in the entire field. Naoko Oshitani turns 40 in November but certainly isn't a JLPGA veteran, as she has made money on tour only in 2008 and 2010. Never having broken into the top 30 in a single start on the big tour and 0-for-1 in made cuts there this year, she recently graduated from the Step-Up Tour and will be facing off against the likes of Shanshan Feng and Mi-Jeong Jeon at -4 and Bo-Bae Song, Saiki Fujita, and Nikki Campbell at -3.
As I was looking over player bios among the leaders, I was expecting that Takesue, who won in her rookie year in 2003 and enjoyed her next-best year as a pro in 2010 but hadn't done anything positive this year until she finished in 6th the past 2 weeks in a row, or Ye, who joined the JLPGA in 2009 but has never improved on her silver medal at the Suntory Ladies Open from that year and has never cracked the top 35 on the money list--or perhaps Rie Murata, whose best career finish on tour (4th) came all the way back in 2002--would be the biggest underdogs heading into the final round. But Oshitani takes the cake. Let's see if she's eating it this time tomorrow! With Sun-Ju Ahn, Chie Arimura, and Yuri Fudoh sitting this one out and Sakura Yokomine and Akiko Fukushima barely making the cut--and with Jeon having trouble closing the deal throughout her great JLPGA career, Feng bogeying her last 2 holes in a row to make her 2nd career JLPGA win all that more difficult to attain, Ryu and Kim also looking for only their 2nd wins on tour, and Saiki playing great this year but only having 3 career JLPGA victories to her name--this may be the best opportunity in Oshitani's life to apply Marie Antoinette's dictum to herself.
Here are the players with the best shot of sending Oshitani to the figurative guillotine. Can Ryu play executioner to the field for the 2nd week in a row?
T1/-6 Ritsuko Ryu (69-69), Li-Ying Ye (68-70), Miki Saiki (67-71), Hiromi Takesue (67-71)
T5/-5 Naoko Oshitani (68-71), Na-Ri Kim (66-73)
T7/-4 Mi-Jeong Jeon (70-70), Shanshan Feng (69-71)
T9/-3 Junko Omote (71-70), Nikki Campbell (71-70), Saiki Fujita (70-71), Bo-Bae Song (69-72), Rie Murata (69-72)
T14/-2 Eun-A Lim (72-70), Maiko Wakabayashi (72-70), So-Hee Kim (71-71), Yuki Ichinose (70-72), Young Kim (68-74), Rikako Morita (68-74), Miki Sakai (68-74)
T21/-1 Hiromi Mogi (74-69), Kumiko Kaneda (71-72), Erika Kikuchi (71-72), Miki Uehara (69-74)
T26/E Onnarin Sattayabanphot (73-71), Esther Lee (72-72), Mayu Hattori (69-75)
T34/+1 Megumi Kido (75-70), Shinobu Moromizato (73-72), Maria Iida (73-72)
T42/+2 Akiko Fukushima (77-69), Akane Iijima (72-74), Mika Takushima (71-75), Sakura Yokomine (70-76), Sakurako Mori (69-77)
MC: Kaori Ohe (75-72), Yukari Baba (74-73), Ayako Uehara (74-73), Na-Ri Lee (73-74), Rui Kitada (72-75), Miho Koga (71-76), Yun-Jye Wei (76-72), Yuko Mitsuka (75-73), Tao-Li Yang (73-75), Asako Fujimoto (75-74), Erina Hara (78-74), Yuki Sakurai (75-79), Lala Anai (74-80), Erina Yamato (80-76), Aiko Ueno (77-80)
Sure, with 25 players within 5 shots of the lead, virtually anything can happen tomorrow. But wouldn't it be cool if Ryu got her 2nd win in a row or Oshitani came out of nowhere for her 1st?
As I was looking over player bios among the leaders, I was expecting that Takesue, who won in her rookie year in 2003 and enjoyed her next-best year as a pro in 2010 but hadn't done anything positive this year until she finished in 6th the past 2 weeks in a row, or Ye, who joined the JLPGA in 2009 but has never improved on her silver medal at the Suntory Ladies Open from that year and has never cracked the top 35 on the money list--or perhaps Rie Murata, whose best career finish on tour (4th) came all the way back in 2002--would be the biggest underdogs heading into the final round. But Oshitani takes the cake. Let's see if she's eating it this time tomorrow! With Sun-Ju Ahn, Chie Arimura, and Yuri Fudoh sitting this one out and Sakura Yokomine and Akiko Fukushima barely making the cut--and with Jeon having trouble closing the deal throughout her great JLPGA career, Feng bogeying her last 2 holes in a row to make her 2nd career JLPGA win all that more difficult to attain, Ryu and Kim also looking for only their 2nd wins on tour, and Saiki playing great this year but only having 3 career JLPGA victories to her name--this may be the best opportunity in Oshitani's life to apply Marie Antoinette's dictum to herself.
Here are the players with the best shot of sending Oshitani to the figurative guillotine. Can Ryu play executioner to the field for the 2nd week in a row?
T1/-6 Ritsuko Ryu (69-69), Li-Ying Ye (68-70), Miki Saiki (67-71), Hiromi Takesue (67-71)
T5/-5 Naoko Oshitani (68-71), Na-Ri Kim (66-73)
T7/-4 Mi-Jeong Jeon (70-70), Shanshan Feng (69-71)
T9/-3 Junko Omote (71-70), Nikki Campbell (71-70), Saiki Fujita (70-71), Bo-Bae Song (69-72), Rie Murata (69-72)
T14/-2 Eun-A Lim (72-70), Maiko Wakabayashi (72-70), So-Hee Kim (71-71), Yuki Ichinose (70-72), Young Kim (68-74), Rikako Morita (68-74), Miki Sakai (68-74)
T21/-1 Hiromi Mogi (74-69), Kumiko Kaneda (71-72), Erika Kikuchi (71-72), Miki Uehara (69-74)
T26/E Onnarin Sattayabanphot (73-71), Esther Lee (72-72), Mayu Hattori (69-75)
T34/+1 Megumi Kido (75-70), Shinobu Moromizato (73-72), Maria Iida (73-72)
T42/+2 Akiko Fukushima (77-69), Akane Iijima (72-74), Mika Takushima (71-75), Sakura Yokomine (70-76), Sakurako Mori (69-77)
MC: Kaori Ohe (75-72), Yukari Baba (74-73), Ayako Uehara (74-73), Na-Ri Lee (73-74), Rui Kitada (72-75), Miho Koga (71-76), Yun-Jye Wei (76-72), Yuko Mitsuka (75-73), Tao-Li Yang (73-75), Asako Fujimoto (75-74), Erina Hara (78-74), Yuki Sakurai (75-79), Lala Anai (74-80), Erina Yamato (80-76), Aiko Ueno (77-80)
Sure, with 25 players within 5 shots of the lead, virtually anything can happen tomorrow. But wouldn't it be cool if Ryu got her 2nd win in a row or Oshitani came out of nowhere for her 1st?
Monday, July 13, 2009
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
Yes, I just compared ex-LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens to the dolphins in the 4th novel of Douglas Adams's classic Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy.
And yes, the analogy doesn't precisely hold, for as the 2nd-most-intelligent species on Earth, the dolphins in Adams's novel saved the planet after it had been unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass, or rather saved the 3rd-most intelligent species (us) by pulling a parallel Earth to replace the demolished one (it's all there in Chapter 32), so if you take the Earth as a metaphor for the LPGA, this seems to me to better fit the new-Commissioner-to-be-named-later than Bivens herself, whose grasp of English and social interactions was never quite as Vogon-reciting-poetry-bad as critics like Geoff Shackelford made out but who really did take a huge gamble with the tour's future and has paid the price for it, although her consolation prize--a buyout of the remaining years on her contract--will pay for a lot of fish, so maybe the metaphor does work, after all. Speaking of fish, Adams has lots of passages that can help a blog named Mostly Harmless commemorate the end of the Bivens era.
Take last year's language controversy. All the LPGA needs is the Babel fish, right? Hmmm...what does the Hitchhiker's Guide say to that?
Of course that one's from page 42 of The More Than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide. Here's one for the golfy media, courtesy of Wonko the Sane:
Anyway, to return to my nautical theme, Marsha Evans, a retired Rear Admiral in the U.S. Navy and former President/CEO of the American Red Cross, will be the tour's interim commissioner, and Annika Sorenstam will be helping the Board of Directors find its bearings and chart a new course. Apparently the idea was that having been ousted in a ARC board mutiny back in 2005 and participating in the LPGA Board's own in 2009, Evans will have learned from her own and her predecessor's mistakes. In which case, let's hope she wasn't in charge of the announcement process.
Sometimes life imitates Adams. And sometimes bloggers do, too.
[Update 1 (4:11 pm): Here's Ryan Ballengee with the news and background on Evans, Stephanie Wei on Bivens's legacy and Sorenstam's role, Jay Busbee on what next, and The Golf Chick with some answers.]
[Update 2 (4:14 pm): And here's Brent Kelley's thoughtful analysis.]
[Update 3 (4:21 pm): And here are the LPGA's press releases announcing Bivens's replacement with Evans and explaining Sorenstam's role.]
[Update 4 (11:11 pm): Bill Jempty, one of Bivens's longest-standing and harshest critics in blogaramaville, weighs in with his thoughts on Bivens's ouster and replacement.]
[Update 5 (11:18 pm): Here's Randall Mell.]
[Update 6 (11:24 pm): Here's the Golf Channel video of the announcement.]
[Update 7 (11:49 pm): Here's Hound Dog's reaction to the news and the press conference.]
[Update 8 (7/14/09, 9:54 am): Here's Daniel Wexler's reaction and Stephanie Wei's overview at the Huffington Post.]
[Update 9 (10:00 am): Geoff Shackelford links to and comments on various journalists' reactions.]
[Update 10 (10:09 am): Here's Dave Seanor's reaction.]
[Update 11 (11:18 am): Here's Christina Kim on why she's optimistic about the LPGA's future.]
[Update 12 (11:33 am): Here's Gene Yasuda's piece for Golfweek.]
[Update 13 (11:44 am): And here's one of the guys from Nice Ballz.]
[Update 14 (4:21 pm): William Rhoden of the NYT got Bivens to talk in a phone interview, so his piece is definitely worth reading.]
[Update 15 (7/15/09, 10:54 pm): John Strege shares the views of a former tournament organizer of Bivens's 1st ex-tournament, the Shoprite.]
[Update 16 (7/16/09, 12:37 am): Brent Kelley has done some reading--and linking--of his own.]
And yes, the analogy doesn't precisely hold, for as the 2nd-most-intelligent species on Earth, the dolphins in Adams's novel saved the planet after it had been unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass, or rather saved the 3rd-most intelligent species (us) by pulling a parallel Earth to replace the demolished one (it's all there in Chapter 32), so if you take the Earth as a metaphor for the LPGA, this seems to me to better fit the new-Commissioner-to-be-named-later than Bivens herself, whose grasp of English and social interactions was never quite as Vogon-reciting-poetry-bad as critics like Geoff Shackelford made out but who really did take a huge gamble with the tour's future and has paid the price for it, although her consolation prize--a buyout of the remaining years on her contract--will pay for a lot of fish, so maybe the metaphor does work, after all. Speaking of fish, Adams has lots of passages that can help a blog named Mostly Harmless commemorate the end of the Bivens era.
Take last year's language controversy. All the LPGA needs is the Babel fish, right? Hmmm...what does the Hitchhiker's Guide say to that?
the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
Of course that one's from page 42 of The More Than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide. Here's one for the golfy media, courtesy of Wonko the Sane:
I'm not trying to prove anything, by the way. I'm a scientist and I know what constitutes proof. But the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting.
Anyway, to return to my nautical theme, Marsha Evans, a retired Rear Admiral in the U.S. Navy and former President/CEO of the American Red Cross, will be the tour's interim commissioner, and Annika Sorenstam will be helping the Board of Directors find its bearings and chart a new course. Apparently the idea was that having been ousted in a ARC board mutiny back in 2005 and participating in the LPGA Board's own in 2009, Evans will have learned from her own and her predecessor's mistakes. In which case, let's hope she wasn't in charge of the announcement process.
Sometimes life imitates Adams. And sometimes bloggers do, too.
[Update 1 (4:11 pm): Here's Ryan Ballengee with the news and background on Evans, Stephanie Wei on Bivens's legacy and Sorenstam's role, Jay Busbee on what next, and The Golf Chick with some answers.]
[Update 2 (4:14 pm): And here's Brent Kelley's thoughtful analysis.]
[Update 3 (4:21 pm): And here are the LPGA's press releases announcing Bivens's replacement with Evans and explaining Sorenstam's role.]
[Update 4 (11:11 pm): Bill Jempty, one of Bivens's longest-standing and harshest critics in blogaramaville, weighs in with his thoughts on Bivens's ouster and replacement.]
[Update 5 (11:18 pm): Here's Randall Mell.]
[Update 6 (11:24 pm): Here's the Golf Channel video of the announcement.]
[Update 7 (11:49 pm): Here's Hound Dog's reaction to the news and the press conference.]
[Update 8 (7/14/09, 9:54 am): Here's Daniel Wexler's reaction and Stephanie Wei's overview at the Huffington Post.]
[Update 9 (10:00 am): Geoff Shackelford links to and comments on various journalists' reactions.]
[Update 10 (10:09 am): Here's Dave Seanor's reaction.]
[Update 11 (11:18 am): Here's Christina Kim on why she's optimistic about the LPGA's future.]
[Update 12 (11:33 am): Here's Gene Yasuda's piece for Golfweek.]
[Update 13 (11:44 am): And here's one of the guys from Nice Ballz.]
[Update 14 (4:21 pm): William Rhoden of the NYT got Bivens to talk in a phone interview, so his piece is definitely worth reading.]
[Update 15 (7/15/09, 10:54 pm): John Strege shares the views of a former tournament organizer of Bivens's 1st ex-tournament, the Shoprite.]
[Update 16 (7/16/09, 12:37 am): Brent Kelley has done some reading--and linking--of his own.]
Monday, October 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Notes Toward a Prolegomenon To All Future Golf/Academia Analogies
Yeah, I'm kind of proud of that title.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The Little Worm from Kansas
So Sparkychan and Gojochan were zipping along in cyberspace, having a wonderful time playing and messing around on their way back to America.
When all of a sudden, Gojochan cries out "There it is, the worm! the worm!, Onechan's dad's computer's little worm!"
"Where is it? I wanna' see," said Sparkychan.
"It's right there in the middle, see, it's orange."
"You mean, that thing," says Gojochan. "That's not a worm. It's a shrimp."
"Is not, it's a worm."
"Shrimp."
"Worm."
"Shrimp."
"Worm."
"Cut it out you two! Stop that silly argument," said the creature:
"I'm not a worm, I'm not a shrimp. I'm a worm-a-shrimp-a-ramadama-dingdong-o-saurus."
Sparkychan, "Oh."
Gojochan, "Oh."
"And I'm from Kansas."
"Gee, you look so happy," said Sparkychan.
"And wavey."
* * * * *
Bye bye Onechan, see you next time. Can you guess the name of the worm-a-shrimp-a-ramadama-dingdong-o-saurus?
Bonus points: Who was it who said "A wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus! A wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus! My kingdom for a wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus." Was it:
a) Usagi Baggins.
b) Hilbert Hoggins.
c) Akira Takoyaki.
When all of a sudden, Gojochan cries out "There it is, the worm! the worm!, Onechan's dad's computer's little worm!"
"Where is it? I wanna' see," said Sparkychan.
"It's right there in the middle, see, it's orange."
"You mean, that thing," says Gojochan. "That's not a worm. It's a shrimp."
"Is not, it's a worm."
"Shrimp."
"Worm."
"Shrimp."
"Worm."
"Cut it out you two! Stop that silly argument," said the creature:
"I'm not a worm, I'm not a shrimp. I'm a worm-a-shrimp-a-ramadama-dingdong-o-saurus."
Sparkychan, "Oh."
Gojochan, "Oh."
"And I'm from Kansas."
"Gee, you look so happy," said Sparkychan.
"And wavey."
Bye bye Onechan, see you next time. Can you guess the name of the worm-a-shrimp-a-ramadama-dingdong-o-saurus?
Bonus points: Who was it who said "A wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus! A wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus! My kingdom for a wormashrimparamadamadingdongosaurus." Was it:
a) Usagi Baggins.
b) Hilbert Hoggins.
c) Akira Takoyaki.
Friday, May 25, 2007
A Brief History of Star Wars Blogging at Mostly Harmless
Since I am the We Are All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now Party's designated Star Wars geek, I have been ordered cajoled graciously invited by the relevant Party Ministries into posting a follow-up to this 30th Anniversary Blog-a-thon contribution at WAAGNFNP. This has nothing to do with the fact that I am just the slightest bit late with a certain sequel in a certain series of my own at WAAGNFNP. Nothing at all. So what is the real reason for this ordeal assignment great and undeserved honor?
Well, a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, back when Mostly Harmless was almost as naive and annoying as a young Luke Skywalker, I made a little confession. Then I followed it up with a big bleg that I really must ask you to go now and read, because it resulted in the talk that I gave a progress report on here and and supplied a link to the .pdf version of here--and which this post is a p.s. to. So that's four posts and my first paid public lecture devoted to Star Wars--not a lot in my book, but who am I to argue with the WAAGNFNP's MOJ?
OK, I admit I'm not counting my other Star Wars posts at Mostly Harmless: a few links here, a brief comparison to the amazing anime series Legend of the Galactic Heroes there, a hidden allusion in our Blogocalypse Carnival over there, and a plug for Rob MacDougall's blog-a-thon entry right here. They just don't relate that closely to the main point of this post, which is to raise a few questions about the relation between these two Return of the Jedi posters (the first actual, the second seriously parodic).
Here's one thing I love about the second poster. By casting President Bush as Lando Calrissian, its designer strongly implies that the role of Darth Vader is being played by Vice President Cheney. As I said in my talk,
What I didn't go on to say then--besides the impossibility of imagining the young Dick Cheney as a young Anakin Skywalker--is how smart it was to leave today's analogue to Emperor Palpatine a mystery. I think it was Claude Lefort who said that in a democracy, unlike a monarchy, the seat of power is empty; rather than fill it (with, say, Rove), it's better to ponder, with Lefort and following Tocqueville, the nature of the despotism particular to a democracy in light of the relation between the Star Wars series and prequel:
What better illustration of Samuel Delany's point that science fiction is a significant distortion of the present than Star Wars? It's not that I think the Democratic presidential candidates will actually act like Luke, Leia, and Han--the sarcastic casting of Al Gore as Jabba the Hutt says more about the real odds that the Democratic Party will lead a rebellion against Imperial America than anything else in the poster (note: the poster's designer says he made some casting decisions based on design principles alone; that's his story and he's as free to stick with it as I am to run with it). In my talk, I pointed out many problems with the Sith-Republicans/Jedi-Democrats analogy, emphasizing that Democrats have been/can be tempted as easily by the "power of the dark side" as Republicans. And I argued that it's unclear whether the U.S. today has become or will remain an empire:
Three months and a day after my talk, I still have more questions than answers. The ones I'm most interested in hearing your answers to are:
Well, a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, back when Mostly Harmless was almost as naive and annoying as a young Luke Skywalker, I made a little confession. Then I followed it up with a big bleg that I really must ask you to go now and read, because it resulted in the talk that I gave a progress report on here and and supplied a link to the .pdf version of here--and which this post is a p.s. to. So that's four posts and my first paid public lecture devoted to Star Wars--not a lot in my book, but who am I to argue with the WAAGNFNP's MOJ?
OK, I admit I'm not counting my other Star Wars posts at Mostly Harmless: a few links here, a brief comparison to the amazing anime series Legend of the Galactic Heroes there, a hidden allusion in our Blogocalypse Carnival over there, and a plug for Rob MacDougall's blog-a-thon entry right here. They just don't relate that closely to the main point of this post, which is to raise a few questions about the relation between these two Return of the Jedi posters (the first actual, the second seriously parodic).
Here's one thing I love about the second poster. By casting President Bush as Lando Calrissian, its designer strongly implies that the role of Darth Vader is being played by Vice President Cheney. As I said in my talk,
It's Cheney, after all, who cultivates a Vader-esque image, who relies on technological implants for his survival, and who famously told Tim Russert five days after 9/11 on Meet the Press that "We also have to work, though, sort of the dark side, if you will." Whereas Bush was downright Lando Calrissian-like in his campaign, pledging to be a "uniter, not a divider" and to work as closely with Democrats as President of the United States as he did as Governor of Texas. (Plus he has a real past that many would suggest is as wild as Calrissian's fictional one.) When we take into account, too, that Calrissian was intimidated by Vader into betraying Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back and then helped save him and destroy the Death Star in Return of the Jedi, [the] casting decision may even allude to the hope some still hold onto that if only Bush would distance himself from his Vice President and his closest political advisor, Karl Rove, he could yet salvage his Presidency. (The 2006 satirical movie American Dreamz is another example of this fantasy).
What I didn't go on to say then--besides the impossibility of imagining the young Dick Cheney as a young Anakin Skywalker--is how smart it was to leave today's analogue to Emperor Palpatine a mystery. I think it was Claude Lefort who said that in a democracy, unlike a monarchy, the seat of power is empty; rather than fill it (with, say, Rove), it's better to ponder, with Lefort and following Tocqueville, the nature of the despotism particular to a democracy in light of the relation between the Star Wars series and prequel:
The first trilogy tells the tragic story of a republic's descent into empire and a hero's fall into villainy, while the second tells the epic story of that empire's defeat by a rebellion's resistance and that villain's redemption through his children's heroics.
What better illustration of Samuel Delany's point that science fiction is a significant distortion of the present than Star Wars? It's not that I think the Democratic presidential candidates will actually act like Luke, Leia, and Han--the sarcastic casting of Al Gore as Jabba the Hutt says more about the real odds that the Democratic Party will lead a rebellion against Imperial America than anything else in the poster (note: the poster's designer says he made some casting decisions based on design principles alone; that's his story and he's as free to stick with it as I am to run with it). In my talk, I pointed out many problems with the Sith-Republicans/Jedi-Democrats analogy, emphasizing that Democrats have been/can be tempted as easily by the "power of the dark side" as Republicans. And I argued that it's unclear whether the U.S. today has become or will remain an empire:
In response to claims that the Bush administration's policies, doctrines, and strategies are entirely unprecedented, then, I have argued that they ought to be seen as "in the American grain." My point in doing so is not to condemn the United States as always already imperialist, but to suggest that the imperialist tradition in American history and culture, although it has deep roots, is not the only one and does not have to remain the dominant one. 9/11 has sharpened the deep and ongoing contestation among the various American traditions and raised its stakes. The appeal of American-style imperialism has only grown since 2001. But so have critiques of it, from several political traditions within and outside the U.S. What the result of these debates and maneuverings will be is anyone's guess.
Three months and a day after my talk, I still have more questions than answers. The ones I'm most interested in hearing your answers to are:
- What are your criteria for deciding when American democracy has become despotic and imperialist?
- Are we there yet? And if so, when did we start?
- Most important, at what point do you decide to rebel? And what forms does that rebellion take?
Sunday, April 1, 2007
The Blogocalypse at the End of the Universe
Ah, you're here. Whaaa--? You let the Paranoid Android park your time machine?! Never mind, nothing. No, no, really--it'll be fine. Eh, what's that? No, it was not a good idea to give to the cyborg outside--what were you thinking? Never mind, I'm sure his children will be by soon to take care of him. Please walk this way...did you see the notice that William Shatner's Vogon poetry reading has been cancelled? Never fear, we were able to book an up-and-coming trip-hop DJ in his place. Perhaps you've heard of him--MC Rove? A rare talent, indeed. Ah, here's your table. Might I interest you in a drink? Old Janx Spirit? Hmmm, you don't quite look--never mind, never mind, coming right up. Ah, here's your waiter. You may refer to it as the Blogocalyptic Major Cow. Thank you. Please enjoy your meal tonight as if it were to have been your last.
Greetings and salutations. It's my duty, pleasure, and indeed honor to be your server and to be serving you tonight. Might I interest you in our latest menu? Or perhaps you would like our original? No? Its sequel was quite good. Please enjoy the apocalyptic stylings of post-punk/death-techno trio Hug the Shoggoth as you peruse the menus. I'll be back.
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. I forgot to list our specials tonight. My deepest apologies. Our first is a dish sure to tickle your palate and raise your spirits, clearly inspired by the Robert Frost poem "Fire and Ice":
Next we have a dish that will make you stop to savor its delightful juxtapositions and skillful thin-slicing. You'll definitely want seconds.
Our final special is less a dish than a multi-course meal, a veritable moveable feast.
Thank you. Please watch this documentary as you decide what to order. I'll be back.
Ah, excuse me a moment. Our chef just informed me we have another special tonight: blood pudding. It comes highly recommended. I know--so difficult to choose what to order. Some of our guests find it helpful to take a stroll down our holodeck and enjoy the installation and the virtual coffee table. Improves the appetite and clears the mind. Plus you can pick up a free coupon to join our book club. All right, then. I'll be back.
I'll need your order now. Hurry up, please, it's time.
[Update 4/7/06: Via Quiet Bubble, I ordered these here 1979 Douglas Adams interviews (one more coming). I almost never get to order any of those off-menu chef's specials and I'm loving these! Perhaps for dessert I'll order Tool's April 1 newsletter.]
Greetings and salutations. It's my duty, pleasure, and indeed honor to be your server and to be serving you tonight. Might I interest you in our latest menu? Or perhaps you would like our original? No? Its sequel was quite good. Please enjoy the apocalyptic stylings of post-punk/death-techno trio Hug the Shoggoth as you peruse the menus. I'll be back.
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. I forgot to list our specials tonight. My deepest apologies. Our first is a dish sure to tickle your palate and raise your spirits, clearly inspired by the Robert Frost poem "Fire and Ice":
SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Next we have a dish that will make you stop to savor its delightful juxtapositions and skillful thin-slicing. You'll definitely want seconds.
Our final special is less a dish than a multi-course meal, a veritable moveable feast.
Thank you. Please watch this documentary as you decide what to order. I'll be back.
Ah, excuse me a moment. Our chef just informed me we have another special tonight: blood pudding. It comes highly recommended. I know--so difficult to choose what to order. Some of our guests find it helpful to take a stroll down our holodeck and enjoy the installation and the virtual coffee table. Improves the appetite and clears the mind. Plus you can pick up a free coupon to join our book club. All right, then. I'll be back.
I'll need your order now. Hurry up, please, it's time.
[Update 4/7/06: Via Quiet Bubble, I ordered these here 1979 Douglas Adams interviews (one more coming). I almost never get to order any of those off-menu chef's specials and I'm loving these! Perhaps for dessert I'll order Tool's April 1 newsletter.]
Friday, January 26, 2007
A Paler Shade of Fire
.FNG a ni demusnoc kcurt a yb revo nur saw enoyreve ylnedduS
***BREAKING*** *** Web Only Exclusive*** ***BREAKING***
By KIRBY ALTHOUSE, Associated Press Writer
PALO ALTO - Cyber-researchers at the Hoover Institution on Massively Redundant Sucking and Blowing confirmed the discovery of an Internet White Hole in a rarely visited corner of the blogosphere. Long postulated, but never previously observed, researchers traced the source of the White Hole via Internet tubes to a much more significant Internet Black Hole that had developed several weeks prior (see comment #287 here.)
Experts puzzled over the interesting transformations that the content being emitted from the White Hole had undergone. While certain images and in-jokes were unchanged, other content was not: danger had become harmlessness; hockey, golf; French, American; and 2001: A Space Odyssey emerged as Star Wars. Other key elements and content appeared to be missing altogether. A pair of shoes was found as well.
The significant mismatch in size and information content between the two suggests that the connections between them have split and fused repeatedly, and that this particular White Hole probably represents a mere fraction of the total energy consumed in the Black Hole. This led some to predict that other White Holes might pop up elsewhere on the Internet in the near future.
The discovery caused a ripple of excitement among some of the giants of Internet lore. When some Pseudonymous guy who sounded like indigenous people who had been portrayed in Earth Island Jo heard of the development, his face, at first just ghostly, turned a whiter shade of pale, and he skated off without comment. An earthtone clad Al Gore, however, greeted the news warmly. “Hot damn”, he sighed, “This is the kind of thing we were looking for back at the start. Now we’re cooking with gas!” Internet tubemeister Ted Stevens (R-Dementia) responded by rushing an emergency Appropriations Bill to the floor of the Senate to fund construction of several hundred bridges to locations in his home state where new White Holes might or might not appear.
There is a very loud amusement park right in front of my present lodgings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)