Greetings and salutations. It's my duty, pleasure, and indeed honor to be your server and to be serving you tonight. Might I interest you in our latest menu? Or perhaps you would like our original? No? Its sequel was quite good. Please enjoy the apocalyptic stylings of post-punk/death-techno trio Hug the Shoggoth as you peruse the menus. I'll be back.
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. I forgot to list our specials tonight. My deepest apologies. Our first is a dish sure to tickle your palate and raise your spirits, clearly inspired by the Robert Frost poem "Fire and Ice":
SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Next we have a dish that will make you stop to savor its delightful juxtapositions and skillful thin-slicing. You'll definitely want seconds.
Our final special is less a dish than a multi-course meal, a veritable moveable feast.
Thank you. Please watch this documentary as you decide what to order. I'll be back.
Ah, excuse me a moment. Our chef just informed me we have another special tonight: blood pudding. It comes highly recommended. I know--so difficult to choose what to order. Some of our guests find it helpful to take a stroll down our holodeck and enjoy the installation and the virtual coffee table. Improves the appetite and clears the mind. Plus you can pick up a free coupon to join our book club. All right, then. I'll be back.
I'll need your order now. Hurry up, please, it's time.
[Update 4/7/06: Via Quiet Bubble, I ordered these here 1979 Douglas Adams interviews (one more coming). I almost never get to order any of those off-menu chef's specials and I'm loving these! Perhaps for dessert I'll order Tool's April 1 newsletter.]