Well, Gojochan will have to speak for herself, but I can report that Sparkychan has been pursuing such metaphysical questions for the past several months in a super-duper top-secret adventure of her own. You see, the last time onechan and imoto visited their grandparents in Clinton, Sparkychan heard tell that Grandpa was a FILL-OZ-OF-HER. She didn't quite know what that meant, but she thought it had something to do with playing with grandchildren a lot and telling a lot of funny stories. So she decided she would stick around central NY instead of heading back to western NY with Gojochan, onechan, and imoto in the Super-Prius. But she forgot to tell anyone! We all were worried sick about Sparkychan when we realized she hadn't made the trip back to Dunkirk with us. Fortunately, on our last trip to Clinton, Sparkychan, her mission complete, made contact with us via Grandma, who had found her in the Drop Zone underneath papa's old bed, but didn't know who she was or where she belonged.
After the reuniting celebrations were complete, onechan, imoto, and Sparkychan had the following conversation (which might make more sense to new readers after checking out the following playbill):
Onechan: So where were you and what were you doing? We were missed you! And we were worried about you!
Sparkychan: I was on a super-duper top-secret mission.
Onechan: Huh? What's a mission?
Sparkychan: It's when you're trying to do something important.
Onechan: Like what?
Sparkychan: Like find out what a Fill-Oz-of-Her is. And figure out what's Really Real.
Imoto: Gojochan!
Sparkychan: Yes, I missed Gojochan a lot. But I had to complete my mission!
Onechan: You must have been lonely.
Sparkychan: Yes, but it was all worth it. I found out that Fill-Oz-of-Hers tell great stories.
Onechan: Like what?
Sparkychan: Like about the dog who goes on a walk every day and every day something funny happens. And about the man who forgets how to do things. And about Aki and Aya who live on a planet with four seasons, just like ours--winter, spring, summer, and up--except that in the last one, leaves fall up.
Imoto: Up!
Sparkychan: I know--funny, right?
Onechan: What does telling funny stories have to do with figuring out what's Really Real?
Sparkychan: Hmm, I'll have to think about that question!
Onechan: You don't know?
Sparkychan: Well, that's one thing I learned from listening to the Fill-Oz-of-Her's stories. Sometimes you have to stop and think.
Imoto: Dora!
Sparkychan: Yes, like Dora.
Onechan: But why didn't you come back to us sooner?
Sparkychan: I wanted to, but then I realized the Fill-Oz-of-Her needed my help.
Onechan: Huh? Why?
Sparkychan: Well, it turned out that there's a lot of heavy lifting involved in all that thinking--grandpa got a Fill-Oz-of-Hernia and needed an operation.
Onechan: What's an operation?
Sparkychan: It's when you go to the doctor and they help you get better.
Imoto: Byoin!
Sparkychan: Yes, at a hospital.
Onechan: Ooh, I play hospital all the time with my friends in Dunkirk!
Sparkychan: Really? I think playing hospital is kind of like telling stories.
Onechan: It's fun to pretend!
Sparkychan: I think that's why your grandpa is a Fill-Oz-of-Her. He gets to pretend every day!
Onechan: Hmm, maybe papa is a Fill-Oz-of-Her, too.
Sparkychan: I don't think so. I heard grandma telling her friend that when your papa was going to college, she told him he could be anything he wanted to be, except a Fill-Oz-of-Her.
Onechan: Why?
Sparkychan: She didn't say. She just thought it was funny he majored in Math and English.
Onechan: Why? What's majored?
Sparkychan: I don't know. I've been hanging around here trying to find out.
Imoto: Gakko!
Sparkychan: Yes, it has something to do with college, but I don't know what.
Onechan: I'll find out. I go to school at papa's gakko lots and lots and then sometimes I go up to Japanese school at mama's gakko!
Sparkychan: Cool! Thanks. So after your grandma told the joke I didn't get, that was when I found out that your grandpa needed my help.
Onechan: Not just with the Fill-Oz-of-Hernia?
Sparkychan: Nope, he was doing fine after the operation. This has something to do with a Pee-Essay test. It's the kind of test where you're supposed to score a zero.
Onechan: A zero! What kind of test is that?
Sparkychan: I'm still not sure. But grandma told her friend he wasn't getting zeros on his tests.
Onechan: Hmm, maybe that's like making a bogey.
Sparkychan: A bogey? What's that?
Imoto: Shikaku!
Onechan: Yeah, it's when you make a square instead of a circle on the golf course.
Sparkychan: Huh?
Onechan: One more than you should instead of one less.
Sparkychan: That's neat. I wonder what's one less than zero.
Imoto: Birdie!
Onechan: Yeah, one under par.
Sparkychan: Par?
Onechan: That's it! The Pee-Essay test is par zero! Grandpa needs to start making pars and birdies--and stop making so many bogeys!
Sparkychan: Oh, I think I get it. That's probably why he was taking out his golf clubs and making holes in the carpet.
Imoto: Swing!
Sparkychan: Yeah, he called it working on his swing. Didn't seem like work to me. But he sure did it a lot.
Onechan: Hmm, did he try to roll golf balls at chair legs a lot, too?
Sparkychan: Yes, he did, come to think of it.
Imoto: Putt!
Onechan: Yup, it's called putting. I'm very good at that. Better than papa. I think next time I visit grandpa I need to teach him how to roll the ball into the hole.
Sparkychan: The hole that goes to Kansas?
Onechan: Yeah!
Sparkychan: I have an idea! Maybe Gojochan and I can try to find The Little Worm and find out the secret to making birdies on the Pee-Essay test!
Onechan: The Little Worm knows that?
Sparkychan: The Little Worm knows lots of things. It comes from getting into so many computers.
Onechan: Oh.
Imoto: Oh.
Sparkychan: Maybe then, Grandpa won't have to drive to Syracuse so much this spring.
Onechan: Where's Syracuse?
Sparkychan: I'm not sure.
Onechan: We can ask the Super-Prius later.
Sparkychan: OK.
Onechan: Won't you two be lonely, going on an adventure all by yourselves?
Sparkychan: If it helps your grandpa, we can do it!
Imoto: Gaman!
Sparkychan: That's right, imoto. Sometimes you just have to tough things out.
Onechan: That's what mama tells me all the time.
Imoto: Gambare!
Onechan: That's what papa tells me all the time.
Sparkychan: What's it mean?
Onechan: Go for it! OK, so, I'll help grandpa with his putting next time I see him and you two try to find the Little Worm.
Sparkychan: OK! I'll go tell Gojochan the plan. Let's get back together for ice cream and tea in a few minutes.
Onechan: OK, see you soon! [To imoto:] We'd better tell our other friends. Sounds like Gojochan and Sparkychan will need lots of help!
Imoto: OK!
Sounds like a lot is going on. Stay tuned!
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