Wednesday, November 14, 2007

2001 Redux: A Toy Odyssey

Episode One: I gotta’ go

Kid's Advisory: The following story shows a plush toy taking a poop. No actual poop is depicted in the story. However, it is advised that anyone over 21 be accompanied by a child when reading this story.


late afternoon glow.jpg

It was a bright day in Citytown on Planet X. All of a sudden the Red Phone began to ring.

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“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. It was ever so loud.

“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ringghhh!” Jumper wanted to answer it. But she couldn’t. Jumper was taking a poop and, you know, business is business.

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“Oh dear! Oh dear!” though Jumper, “What am I going to do. I can’t answer the phone while I’m pooping, not until I’m done.”

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“Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” went the phone. At last Jumper was done pooping. But she still couldn’t answer the phone. Because Mommy had taught her, “Always wash your hands after you’ve pooped.”

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And the faucet was so hard to turn. The phone kept ringing, “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. “Gotta wash my hands, gotta wash my hands,” thought Jumper.

At last Jumper was done washing her hands.

And the phone stopped ringing. “Oh no!, she thought, I missed the phone call!”




Meanwhile her friend King Kong was out playing in the jumgle.

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He heard the phone ringing, ever so softly in the distance. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh!” it went. “Citytown is in trouble,” thought Kong, “I gotta’ to Jumper's house and find out what’s wrong.” So Kong starting swinging through the jungle.

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As he got closer and closer to Jumper’s house, the phone got louder and louder – “Ringgh! Ringgh!”

He finally got to the phone. "Where's Jumper?" He thought. "Maybe she's out and can't get to the phone." It was still ringing. “Ringghhhh! Ringghhhh! Ring Ring Ring!” it went. Kong picked up the phone:

“This is Kong answering Jumper’s Red Phone, how may I help you?”

“This is Mayor Grumpy Grumble of Citytown. Tell Jumpsan that there’s a mysterious green box up in space over Citytown.”

“Will do,” said Kong. “Don’t worry, Jumpsan and I will investigate.”

“I’m so glad you were able to get to the phone in time,” said Jumper. “I was worried about missing a call on the Red Phone.”

“No problemo,” said Kong. “That’s what friends are for.”

“What was it about?” asked Jump.

“A mysterious green box has appeared in space over Citytown.”

“A mysterious green box?”

“That’s what the mayor said. I think we’d better investigate.”

“Right,” said Jump. “But let’s have some hot chocolate and cookies first.”

“Right,” said Kong. “We can talk about it and plan plans and scheme schemes.”

hot chocolate and cookies.jpg

And so the two friends planned plans and schemed schemes while enjoying some delicious hot chocolate and cookies. Yum!

Meanwhile, the green box was up in space, hovering over Citytown. What is it? What's it doing? Is it good? Is it bad? Or is it just green, and blue and red and yellow and white too?

green box.jpg

7 comments:

The Constructivist said...

Finally got a chance to read the story to onechan! Here's her response (typed herself):

"i want more!"

here's some more typing from onechan:

dctwm

bill benzon said...

She'll get more. Just be patient.

Stephanie said...

uh................hmmmmmmmmm.................uh......uuuuuuuumkay.............jeez louise.

A pulitzer for sure.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bill benzon said...

Hi Stephanie. Maybe it'll be the first potty Pulitzer.

The Constructivist said...

"Darn it! I need to go shi-shi. Shi, shi, shi!" I think onechan is lobbying for #2!

bill benzon said...

Well, if we used "boom boom" it would fit it the the WAAGNFNP mythology.