Thursday, March 10, 2011

Pure Nonsense

As you might have read by now, the Constructivist has started a reoccurring feature reporting smaller golf stories that we may have missed. He has cleverly named this feature after the very popular soap opera As the World Turns.

Since weeks have passed without a single LPGA event to report on I thought I would take this time to have some fun with my fellow team member and give him a list of soap opera titles and relating stories that he should NEVER do a story on.

The Bold and the Beautiful – A fashion story focusing on stars like Paula Creamer and Natalie Gulbis, featuring what they are wearing on and off the golf course. (Anna Rawson, where are you when we need you most?)

The Young and the Restless - A report on the continued frustrations of players such as Kristy McPherson, Brittany Lang and Song Hee Kim who have yet to make it into the winner's circle.

Dallas – A report on the many places that the LPGA should be trying to get added to its schedule.

General Hospital – A weekly report detailing the status of swollen thumbs, bad backs, etc.

Dynasty – A report on the ongoing dominance of the LPGA in the Solheim Cup.

The Guiding Light – The story of what one PGA player needed as he quickly fell from grace.... Oops, wrong tour.

Days of Our Lives – Features different players as they tell their story of the grinding life of a LPGA player always on the road.

Desperate Housewives - An in-depth look at whatever happened to those players who have lost their tour cards.

Search for Tomorrow – The continuing saga of Commissioner Michael Whan’s trials and tribulations in lining up sponsors for the 2012 schedule.

Seven more days and counting to the Founders Cup and some real news to report on.


Golfer54 said...

This is great. You made my date. Making copies for the office.

Kathy said...

This is hysterical...loved it! ~Kathy

diane said...

Well done, Tony.