Monday, July 23, 2007


Blogoramaville needs a mayor by 2009. The WAAGNFNP needs a vehicle for parodying actually existing political campaigns between now and then. It's a match made in heaven.

"But Constructivist," you say, "what is this 'Blogoramaville' you speak of? Skippy says we're livin' in blogtopia." Sorry, people, but blogtopia is so last microsecond. Hadn't you heard that it got invaded, conquered, surveyed, and parcelled out, like, bloggy years ago?

"Whatever," you reply. "How is your dumb riff on McLuhan any better?" Well, after Turner (Ted) proclaimed the Closing of the Electronic Frontier Era, we've entered a new phase of virtual community-building. Blogoramaville gets at the cheesy small-town stench (I mean, barnyard aroma) of so many bloggy interactions. It's where we're at. We ain't no global village.

"All right, I'm in," you answer, conveniently getting into the spirit of "our" "dialogue." "So if Townsville has The Mayor and Springfield has Mayor Quimby, what kind of mayor does Blogoramaville deserve?" Great question--thanks for asking!

We all know Blogoramaville is a wasteland of broken windows, unreadable graffiti, and angry extremists who have nothing in common but their complete lack of civility. We all know the families who have left for the big city, "gone on vacation" indefinitely to parts unknown, or been driven out of town by flame-thrower-toting flash mobs. We all know how much fun it is to persistently and ruthlessly mock the village idiots. But there has to be more to life in Blogoramaville than that. We need to elect a Mayor to figure out what that is.

This is where the WAAGNFNP's own Chairman-for-Life and Professor of Dangeral Studies Michael Berube comes in. Or would, if his loyal cultists Partyers could just--somehow--get organized.

Anyone got any ideas how to do that?

Besides the WAAGNFNP's own Tribunus Laticlavius of the Ministry of Offense and Defense, that is, who offers Berube the following campaign slogan:

"Vote WAAGNFNP in 2008--you'll never have to vote again!"


bill benzon said...

I Blogoramaville anywhere near Townsville? "Cause if we could get the PPGs on our side our victory would be assured, no?

The Constructivist said...

Seems like it would be tough to peel them away from The Mayor. Maybe if we hack their Red Phone?

JP Stormcrow said...

"Vote WAAGNFNP in 2008--you'll never have to vote again!"

But that is the same slogan as the Republicans are looking to run on in 2008. (or the one they may have already silently run on in 2004. Finding out is half the fun!)

The Constructivist said...

Yeah, but they just mean to take our rights and freedoms away--the WAAGNFNP scoffs at such nanomeasures.

JP Stormcrow said...

In the spirit of our earlier cold war roots, I suggest getting the Doublemint twins to reprise a variation of their jingle.

Double your pleasure, Double your wham,
With WAAGNFNP*, WAAGNFNP, Gojira, Blam!

*pronounced wag-nif-nip